Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
