She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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