he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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