O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
