All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
