I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
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