I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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