dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
