just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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