this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
