That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
