kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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