You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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