He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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