just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
