Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
