I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
she told me i tasted like america
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
