I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
