when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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