and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
