their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
