I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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