Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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