I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
What a dumb baby whore.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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