So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We were destined to go to rehab together
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
