im having a threesome with these popsicles
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
