mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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