Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
