i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
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