On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
