Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
