We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
