FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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