This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
