OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
