doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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