she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
