your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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