Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
