The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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