I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
