I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
