cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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