Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
