he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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