I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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