Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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