the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
