I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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