he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
