Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
