Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
